Just A Pinch...

In my twenties, life was exciting. It was about potential, setting up the perfect serve, drinking from life's cup in big sloppy gulps. In my thirties, life was about working hard, striving for one more rung on the ladder, making what I wanted happen through one more all-nighter. In my forties my perspectives on life changed. I looked around and while I could say it was 'good,' I realized a few things: Life is precious, nothing turned out like I thought it would and that was okay. My enjoyment has taken on a different flavor. I savor more, sip instead of gulp, realize that even though it may have some burnt edges, it's still good enough to gobble up. Disappointments and disillusionment become another part of the meal instead of something to throw in the dumpster. Acceptance reins supreme.

It was in light of these revelations that I started thinking about what I want when I am old... Scratch that, not old. Seasoned.

Photo Credit: Creative Commons

• I want to own chickens. When I have no more desire to travel and see the world, I will gather to me chooks of all sorts and feed them in the setting rays of the sun, tossing seed upon the ground and smiling as they gobble it up. I will wear aprons with pockets and glory in the remnants of feed that find its way under my fingernails.
• I want to sit on the porch and sip my coffee in the mornings, reminiscing of the places I have been and the shoes that got me there. I will recall strolls down cobbled streets, paved cities and country roads. I will bask in the rising sun of another day and hold the memories like treasures to my breast. 
• I want to build blue bird houses and set them about my yard to watch as they swoop and dive, swirl and light. I want to listen to the cheep-cheep of chicks in the mornings as their parents bring them breakfast, the iridescence of their clothing shining like a mirage in the light of sunrise.
• I want to wear long tunics and palazzo pants, to sweep myself into a room with elegance and grace. I want to clothe myself in bright blues and greens and purples, reminiscent of a peacock in full regalia. I want to sparkle and shine and make people marvel at my fashion bravery.
• I want to laugh with my children, let their kids bounce upon my knee and ask me questions like, "What was it like when you grew up?" I want to see my kids as the incredible artists, hearts and philanthropists that they are. I want to be proud of them and still encourage them to stretch.
• I want to surround myself with Ya-Ya friends - You know the ones... Those that chuckle at our past adventures and begin stories with, "Remember that time?" I want to share bottles and bottles of wine into the late hours, sitting quietly together, gazing into firefly speckled darkness. I want to hold their hands, laugh at their verve, stroke their hair and cry in their laps.
• And when it is time for me to go, I want to do so in my own bed with my Love and my family at my side. I want to tell them how deeply I love them and listen to their favorite memories and I want to laugh my way into Heaven. With my last breath and my last gaze, I want to smile at the face of God, giggle one last time and know that I am home.